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　　One Friday earlier this school year, all of a sudden it felt like I had pulled a muscle in my back．I knew I was 　　1　　．After a few days I stopped eating, which meant I lost 　　2　　; the clothes bought two weeks earlier began hanging 　　3　　．In addition, I started 　　4　　 so less that my eyelids were constantly heavy．My parents got 　　5　　．I thought fear wasn’t going to 　　6　　 my life．Yet, I spent every minute of every day 　　7　　 how I was going to get myself out of trouble, and it made me mad．

　　Then I 　　8　　 to accept I was ill．I kept my job working 25 hours a week in a shop; I didn’t 　　9　　 any classes．When I was 　　10　　, I sucked it up and kept on going．　　11　　 it kills you, it makes you stronger, right?

　　But now I find myself thinking whether that’s 　　12　　 it．I’m taking the classes and writing for the newspaper because it looks 　　13　　 on college applications．And I am working 25 hours a week so that, 　　14　　 I get into my dream school, I can afford it．

　　Here I am, already sick from the amount of work．So, what good is a(n)　　15　　 application if I’m dead?What is the 　　16　　 of doing this work if I can’t enjoy the results?

　　　　17　　, by writing my story I’m not only 　　18　　 that I can’t take it, but I’m telling all the people who are too concerned with the 　　19　　 to worry about now．This is my warning：Don’t 　　20　　 the high dive if you don’t like the deep end．

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　　There’s a small cross by the side of Highway 128, near the town of Boonville．If this cross could 　　1　　, it would tell you this sad story：

　　Seven years ago my brother, Michael, was on a friend’s farm．They decided to go out for dinner．Joe arrived and 　　2　　 to drive－after just one drink．

　　　　3　　, the four friends traveled the winding road．They didn’t know 　　4　　 it would end－nobody did．Suddenly, they changed their direction and swerved(拐進(jìn))into the 　　5　　 lane, colliding with a(n)　　6　　 car．

　　Back home we were watching E．T．on video in front of a warm fire．Then we went to bed．At 2∶00 A．M．a(chǎn) police officer 　　7　　 my mom with the 　　8　　 news．Michael had been killed．

　　In the morning, I found my mother and sister 　　9　　．I stood there, 　　10　　．“What’s wrong?”I asked, 　　11　　 my sleepy eyes．

　　Mom took a deep 　　12　　．“Come here…”

　　Thus began a difficult and tiring journey through grief(憂傷), where all roads lead to nowhere．It still 　　13　　 to remember that day．

　　The 　　14　　 thing that helps is telling my story, hoping you will remember it if you are 　　15　　 to get into a car with someone who has had a drink－even just 　　16　　 drink．

　　Joe chose the road to 　　17　　．He was convicted of manslaughter(過失殺人)and served time．　　18　　, the real punishment is living with the consequences of his actions．He left us with a(n)　　19　　 in our hearts that will never go away, a nightmare that will haunt him－and us－for the rest of our lives．And a small 　　20　　 by the side of Highway 128．

　　(Dedicated with love to the memory of Michael Laddish)

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　　If you walk through the streets of any big city at six or seven in the morning, the chances are that you will see women hurrying along, pushing prams(嬰兒推車)．You may see more than one woman 　　1　　 on the same door and, as it opens, quickly kiss the child, 　　2　　 a package of nappies and hurry off down the street to clock on the early shift in an office, leaving their children to a child－minder－a woman who may be doing the job legally or illegally, well or badly．Brain Jackson, director of the Child－minding Researching Unit, and his colleagues have done a great deal of work in finding out 　　3　　 it means for a child to spend the first years of life in the care of a child－minder．

　　　　4　　 law, anyone who looks after a child for more than two hours a day and gets paid must be registered．　　5　　 the punishment is a 50 pounds fine．Local authorities are responsible for the registration and supervision(監(jiān)管)of minders．The regulations 　　6　　 adequate provision(保障)for fire, safety and health．Very few minders can 　　7　　 these．Yet, not many districts give financial assistance．“This means,”Brain Jackson says,“that when you have one registered minder tested and proved by the local authorities, you can be sure that you will get a dozen unregistered, illegal minders 　　8　　．”

　　The researchers found themselves 　　9　　 into the role of private investigators when they conduct their 　　10　　．Getting up early to do a“Dawn Watch”following mothers through cold, dark streets and nothing where they left their babies, Jackson says, was a long, slow process．

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　　Both my parents came from towns in Mexico．I was born in E1 Paso, Texas, and when I was four, my family moved to a housing project in East Los Angeles．

　　Even though we struggled to make ends meet, my parents stressed to me and my four brothers and sisters how 　　1　　we were to live in a great country with limitless opportunities．They 　　2　　 us with the ideas of family, faith and love．

　　I got my first 　　3　　 job when I was ten．My dad injured his back working in a cardboard-box factory and was retrained as a hairstylist．He 　　4　　 space in a little shopping center and gave his shop the flowery name of Mr．Ben’s Coiffure．

　　The owner of the shopping center 　　5　　 my Dad’s payment for cleaning the parking lot three 　　6　　 a week, which 　　7　　 getting up at 3 a．m．Mom and I helped 　　8　　dustbin and pick up rubbish by hand．It took two to three hours to clean the lot．I 　　9　　 sleep in the car on the way home．

　　I did this for two years, but the lessons I learned have 　　10　　 a lifetime．I obtained discipline(自律)and the importance of work, and learned at a(n)　　11　　 age the importance of balancing life’s competing interests－in my 　　12　　, school, homework and a job．This 　　13　　 helped during my school years, when I worked 40 hours at a fast-food restaurant while taking a full 　　14　　 of college preparation courses．

　　The hard work 　　15　　 off．I attended the U.S.Military Academy and went on to 　　16　　 graduate degrees in law and business from Harvard．　　17　　, I joined a big Los Angeles law firm and was elected to the California state assembly(州議會)．In these jobs and in everything else I’ve done, I have 　　18　　 forgotten those nights in the parking lot．The experience taught me that there is value in all work and that if people are working to 　　19　　 for themselves and their families, that is 　　20　　 we should honor．

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　　I used to find notes left in the collection basket of the church, beautiful notes about my homilies(布道)and about the writer's thoughts on the daily readings．The 　　1　　 fascinated(吸引)me．But it was a long time 　　2　　 I met the author of the notes．

　　One Sunday morning, I was 　　3　　 that someone was waiting for me in the office, a young woman who said she 　　4　　 all the notes．When I saw her I was 　　5　　, since I had no idea that it was she who wrote the notes．She was sitting in a chair in the office．Her 　　6　　 was bowed and when she raised it to look at me, she could barely 　　7　　 without pain．Her face was disfigured(畸形), so smiling was very 　　8　　 for her．

　　We 　　9　　 for a while that Sunday morning and agreed to meet for lunch later that week．

　　As it 　　10　　 we went to lunch several times, and we shared things about our 　　11　　．We spoke of authors we both had 　　12　　, and it was easy to tell that 　　13　　 are a great love of hers．

　　She suffered from a disfigurement that cannot be made to look 　　14　　．I know that her condition 　　15　　 her deeply．Yet there was a beauty to her that had nothing to do with 　　16　　．She was one to be listened to, whose words came from a wounded but 　　17　　 heart．She possessed a fine-tuned sense of beauty．Her only 　　18　　 in life was the loss of a friend．

　　The truth of her life was a desire to see beyond the 　　19　　 for a glimpse(瞥)of what it is that matters．She found beauty and 　　20　　 and they befriended her, and showed her what is real．

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　　One of the most common complaints I hear from families is that they are not close．They may be close in proximity, but still not feel close as a 　　1　　．They may live next door or in the same house, but not feel 　　2　　．

　　Closeness is about 　　3　　．We feel close when we feel 　　4　　, when we feel loved and when we simply enjoy being together．We may live far apart and still feel close, or we may 　　5　　 a home yet feel distant．

　　Closeness is a family trait that 　　6　　 over time．It is planted by love, watered by honest sharing and fed by true listening．It grows slowly and sometimes 　　7　　 years to mature; but it’s roots grow deep．It can 　　8　　 most storm and sustain a family through the most 　　9　　 time．

　　I received a letter from a reader in Hawaii．She 　　10　　 out that the CEO of one of the island’s largest banks was 　　11　　 a run for governor．Since he was well－liked, he seemed to have a good 　　12　　 of winning．

　　But before filing papers, he 　　13　　 his mind, stating that he wanted to spend more time with his 　　14　　．Not that elected officials cannot be family－oriented, but he felt he needed more time at home than the job 　　15　　．

　　Ronald A Young, in the Honolulu Advertiser, said this about the candidate’s decision：“No matter what you 　　16　　 in the business world or the social world, if you fail the family, then you have not accomplished much．Failure or success does not 　　17　　 in the material wealth you provide them．It is 　　18　　 by what of yourself you give to them．”

　　He made a 　　19　　 to give the best of himself to his family．He 　　20　　 family closeness first, despite pressure to put more time elsewhere．It’s likely a decision he’ll never regret．

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　　“Stop the man!”Carl shouted．“He has a bomb!”Everywhere, passengers were 　　1　　 their feet and screaming．Daniel stopped with his 　　2　　 to the toilets．“　　3　　 away from me!”he shouted．

　　“Daniel, listen to me!”Carl 　　4　　 him over the heads of the others．There was a silence as Daniel 　　5　　 back at him．

　　“We know who you are,”Carl went on．“And we know 　　6　　 you are trying to do．We know all about the insurance(保險)and the bomb．That 　　7　　 that the insurance is no 　　8　　．Do you understand?It’s worth nothing．If you die, you’ll die for nothing and your family will get nothing．　　9　　 than that, they’ll be blamed and made to 　　10　　．Think of that, Daniel．”

　　Daniel hesitated．Carl kept talking 　　11　　 hoped that Daniel would listen to him．

　　A man came out of one of the 　　12　　 behind Daniel．At the 　　13　　 of the door opening, he 　　14　　．

　　“Get the guy with the case!He’s got a bomb!”somebody shouted．

　　Daniel 　　15　　 past the man and ran into the toile．He had not really understood 　　16　　 that had happened in the last few minutes, but he understood that, 　　17　　 so many things in his life, his great plan had 　　18　　．His life had been a failure, and now his 　　19　　 would be a failure, too．

　　As he pulled the string, he wondered 　　20　　 whether the bomb would be another failure．In the last second of his life he learned that he should stop what he was doing．

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Forever Young

　　It's Girls Night Out：Mom Edition, and I'm a player in a whole new game．It occurs to me that I really don't know these 　　1　　 women．We've been circling 　　2　　 for about three years, ever since our kids started 　　3　　．We'd bump into each other in the parking 　　4　　, at Valentine's Day parties, and later as one or the other shyly 　　5　　 we all sign our kids up for softball, gymnastics or dance．Who knows 　　6　　 the five of us clumped together more than 　　7　　 of us clumped with other mothers．I suppose it happens 　　8　　, friendship circles spiraling in and around and about and anew．

　　This is the 　　9　　 time we've gathered without the kids, and I am having a 　　10　　 time saying“Janice”, as opposed to“Zoe's mom”or“Susan”,　　11　　“Kaitlin's mom”, and so I have decided, for tonight, not to 　　12　　 any names at all．

　　The 　　13　　 has already taken our drink order．I can't believe nobody 　　14　　 beer．Nope, this is a Diet Coke and iced tea crowd．In the back of my mind I'm 　　15　　 if I'm going to be the naughty 　　16　　 who corrupts this group．

　　There is so much 　　17　　 to take care of when you are just getting to 　　18　　 people as people．One of the things we are doing is 　　19　　 dates, the years that each of us 　　20　　 from this or that．I see where this is going．

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　　We walked in so quietly that the nurse at the desk didn’t even lift her eyes from the book．Mum 　　1　　 at a big chair by the door and I knew she wanted me to 　　2　　 down．While I watched 　　3　　 open in surprise, Mum 　　4　　 her hat and coat and gave them to me to hold．She walked 　　5　　 to the small room by the lift and took out a wet mop．She 　　6　　 the mop past the desk and 　　7　　 the nurse looked up, Mum nodded and said,“Very 　　8　　 floors．”

　　“Yes, I’m 　　9　　 they’ve finally decided to clean them,”the nurse answered．She looked at Mum 　　10　　 and said,“But aren’t you working late?”

　　Mum just pushed harder, each swipe of the mop 　　11　　 her farther and farther down the hall．I watched 　　12　　 she was out of sight and the nurse had 　　13　　 to writing in the big book．

　　After a long time Mum came back．Her eyes were 　　14　　．She quickly put the mop back and took my 　　15　　．As we turned to go out of the door, Mum bowed politely to the nurse and said,“　　16　　．”

　　Outside, Mum told me：“Dogmas is 　　17　　．No fever．”

　　“You saw her, Mum?”

　　“Of course．I told her about the hospital 　　18　　, and she will not expect us until tomorrow．Dad will stop 　　19　　 as well．It’s a fine hospital．But such 　　20　　!A mop is no good．You need a brush．”

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　　Roberta appeared on the stage．She took a deep breath and began to 　　1　　．Now she was Portia, a strong–willed 　　2　　 in Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice．The theater was filled with people．She was speaking with a power she had never before experienced, the words flowing 　　3　　 form her．

　　　　4　　, Roberta had never acted in her life before the audition(選拔試演)．She 　　5　　being in front of other people．She was very 　　6　　 at school．She had never thought she was good enough at anything to 　　7　　 much attention．She stayed mostly to herself, making 　　8　　 friends．She had excellent grades, 　　9　　 she always thought that something was missing．

　　Two weeks before the audition, Roberta’s mother had heard about it and 　　10　　 her to join in．

　　“I can’t think of anyone else better suited to 　　11　　 the part．Remember all the plays you used to act out for us?”

　　Her mother wouldn’t let the 　　12　　 drop．“You’re just a little scared(害怕)．Everyone gets scared．You know you 　　13　　 do it．The trick is to look past the 　　14　　 to find the love of what you’re doing．’’

　　So Roberta had made an appointment with the head of the Drama Club．She had read the play and found herself excited by the 　　15　　 of speaking such rich words．In secret she practiced Portia’s part, 　　16　　 the lines by repeating them over and over．It wasn’t hard; she 　　17　　 every minute of it．Every time she spoke the words, she had a new 　　18　　 of the lines, as if Shakespeare had written Portia on many levels．

　　On the day of the audition, she 　　19　　 two of Portia’s famous speeches for the auditors．When she had finished, the head of the Drama Club announced the 　　20　　 was hers．

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