Question

假如你是李華，請(qǐng)代表全班同學(xué)給老師寫(xiě)一封信。內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)如下：
1、課堂上您的微笑，給了我們信心（confidence）。
2、若您的課再生動(dòng)、有趣些，我們會(huì)更喜歡您。
3、我們都很優(yōu)秀，希望得到您更多的表?yè)P(yáng)。
4、請(qǐng)多給我們一些建議，少一些命令。
5、因?yàn)槟�工作一向很努力，所以，要學(xué)會(huì)休息，注意保重自己的身體。
注意：
1、以第一人稱寫(xiě)；
2、詞數(shù)：100左右；
3、開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾已為你寫(xiě)好，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)。
Dear teacher,
As your student, I would like to give you some suggestions on behalf of all my classmates．
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yours,
LiHua

Answer 1

   
Dear teacher,
　　As your student, I 'd like to give you some suggestions on behalf of all my classmates.
　　First, I want to say I love you. And I want to tell you that the smile on your face in English class gives us confidence. Then, we think we will love you more if you make your lessons more lively and more interesting. Also, we think that we are all excellent and hope to be more often praised by you. What's more, We'd like you to give us some reasonable suggestions instead of orders. Finally, as you are always working very hard, it is quite important for you to learn to have a rest and take care of yourself! 
　　Best wishes to you!
Yours,
Li Hua

解析試題分析：本書(shū)面表達(dá)是一篇提綱類書(shū)面表達(dá)。第一步：審題。分析題目和提綱可知，這封書(shū)信的體裁應(yīng)該是議論文。論點(diǎn)是“家長(zhǎng)用金錢(qián)，旅游等承諾鼓勵(lì)孩子努力學(xué)習(xí)是不確當(dāng)?shù)摹�，陳述要點(diǎn)并說(shuō)明理由。因文章需要發(fā)表自己的意見(jiàn)，故使用第一人稱。第二步：構(gòu)思。文章應(yīng)該按照“總——分——總”的結(jié)構(gòu)分為三段�？忌�在寫(xiě)作之前必修認(rèn)真審題，首先要注意文章的時(shí)態(tài)。不能根據(jù)材料逐字逐句的翻譯應(yīng)該注意句子的銜接，以提高作文的檔次。
【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】文中使用了非常好的短語(yǔ)和句子為文章增色不少，比如on behalf of，what’s more， instead of， have a rest, take care of；還運(yùn)用句型if引導(dǎo)的賓語(yǔ)從句。并注意了句子的銜接如：first，then，also，finally等等。
考點(diǎn)：提綱類書(shū)面表達(dá)